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Anti-Pickup Line

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Ryu at a Bar: Hey lady, you seem to be battle ready ;) wanna come home and get to know each other? I know some very "special moves" ;)

Girl: Battle ready? Uh... "special moves eh?" OKAY!

2 weeks later:

Girlfriend: Puff... puff... when you spoke about how you truly love me with all your heart... I expected more than... this fighting all the time... I wanna see these "special moves" you talk about ;) ;) ;)

Ryu: The truth lies in the heart of battle!

Girlfriend: Uh sure dear, but can I please go talk with my friends? I feel kind of beaten from uh... all the beatings... and lack of poundings...

Ryu: Well... we have been fighting for hours so... SUREYOUCAN!!!!

SMACK!!!!!

Girlfriend: EEEEEEEEK! EEEEEEEEEK! EEEEEEEEEK!

Announcer: KO! YOU WIN! DEFECT!

Skill 00000000
Level of Moron 9001
Bonus 98493849384394839483.

Ryu: You have to beat Shen Long to stand a chan... I mean I am so sorry dear! I must have walked a bit forward then accidentally ducked and jumped slightly upwards while using my strong punch button!... I am so sorry... its basically all I know to do!

Girlfriend: I am sick of this! I am leaving you!

Ryu: Argh... I AM BEING LEFT AGAIN? NOOH! Its the Dark... Hadou... I...WILL NOT LET YOU ESCAPE MY EVIL! HADOUUUUUUUKEN!

Girlfriend: (dodges) HELP! SOMEONE FIND A DOCTOR!

2 Weeks later:

Ryu: yes this... dark side takes me over and... its because all I know is Street Fighting and... uh some Street Fisting but I am new to that an..

Dr. Bob Sagat: Uh yes... well I am afraid you suffer from Schizophrenia Mr... uh...Hoshi?

Ryu: Just Ryu...That Hoshi crap is just from the hilariously bad mov...

Dr. Bob Sagat: Ok, so just take these medications and this "evil" "side" of you will not bother anyone anymore... now excuse me, I must leave, I have to feed my TIGER! TIGER! TIGER! TIGER!

Ryu: huh?

Dr.Bob Sagat I have four Tigers you see, and I am training them to do a TIGER UPPERCUT!

Ryu: Ok...

Ex-Girlfriend: What the hell did this have to do with pick-up?

Ryu: Well Uh... do not leave me, I suck at it and I... dont leave! NOOOOOOOOOOO! My... medication...

Later

Akuma: Hey girl... heard you want something better than your weakling ex Ryu.

Girl: Sniff... yeah he is all crazy and stuff...

Akuma: Well... I can replace him, I look almost the same without this stupid wig and fake red lenses... besides they do not call me the master of fisting for nothing ;)

Girl: SUREYOUCAN!

Bonus scenes:

Dr.Bob Sagat: You stupid TIGER! Will never learn to do a TIGER UPPERCUT! I am tired of all of you! TIGER GENOCIDE!

Special message from WWE (the animal protectors not Wrestling Entertainment you moron): please save the last remaining TIGER! From Dr.Bob Sagats UPPERCUT!

 
 
 
 
 

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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