Horse Head Huffer Network

Anti-Pickup Line

 

Not a pickup line, but sincerity:

Look for somebody you like, it does not matter what in particular you love about this person, so lets put me as the guy in two examples.


Me: Lovely scarf you got there.

Woman: Here take it.

Me: Wow.

Its no typical me to be into women's clothing in fact I do not give a damn about clothing at all, so I ask my female friends to buy clothes for me to pick up what they think I look my best in, I mean what is wrong by looking good in the eyes of your girls eh? but I must really have loved that scarf, because it was no pick up failure, because in this example I sincerely loved that scarf...

Now this one.

Me: I love that scarf you got there.

Woman: Sigh, take it and leave me alone.

Me: Here, have it back, I do not like the scarf, I like how beautiful you make the scarf look, are you willing to give me a chance, to get to know the girl that can make this scarf so beautiful?

You are female and resist me? That is okay, you do however give me the motivation to become a better person, so that you might give me another chance, sometime if we meet again, and if we do not, thank you for giving me so much already.

Honesty

Pros: No lies
Cons: I am experienced with being myself P

Lies:

Pros: Hey a free scarf I pretend to like yay?
Cons: If you have what it takes, why do you then have to lie? Then you are not only lying to her, but also to yourself. And if your lie works, how many lies will you have to keep creating, until the fear of failure rather than the peace and love, breaks your heart and hers?


Moral: Sure you know now you lie about the scarf, about her shirt, about her wig, and you lose a lot... But if you had to lie about it, admit it or live in self denial: You lost nothing sir! You never had it in the first place

 

Words of wisdom: temptations from the darker side, but do you got what it takes? (Balls children, balls)

Example "not" from real life: My three girlfriends leave after all five of us bang well me (my wife is with em too now wait) the three others leave, my wife asks me what I thought about the... Manysome? Im tired, (for a reason eh?) I asked her to tell me first, she looked me in the eyes and said, lets invite them over again tomorrow.

I raised my arm saying "**** YEAH! A LITERALL **** YEAH! RISING MY ARM INTO THE AIR AS A PUMP FIST, BUT SHE HIGH FIVED ME INSTEAD... What is there not to love? Where does the love fail? Love is endless and grows the more you share, SO START FUCKING MORE! No really lets analyze this, if you are scared already now, you are a bible bashing geek, and not selected to join the gene pool for the next generation, you see, mother nature weeds out filth such as you... While I... Well I got everything I want...

...Now if you could say the same, maybe you can, but its not something you can learn, its something you got to be. Lets move on shall we?

1. Oh No Nero, this means you do not love your wife?

I do not love my wife because she not only allows me but with the condition that she can join? And that we beforehand agree if we like said people? I do not love my wife because I can **** whoever I want whenever I want without her feeling insecure because what she loves most about me is how safe she feels with me present?

Advice: Learn to think less like the dope pope and more like Nero the ladies Hero. (and Dont go making rhymes like that unless you are awesome like me).

2. AHA! THIS MEANS YOUR WIFE DOES NOT LOVE YOU!

Uh, she knew she was marrying a womanizer, because she fell in love with said womanizer and not in what she could "transform him into", not what she could shape a man she considers perfect for her, if not perfect as a God (**** I agree) and said womanizer made her feel safe enough to try if she would enjoy one or several more, and as an experienced well, courtesan (my my that was classy) I know that women tend to like each other... you know under 100 percent of my introductions... Why? We men (not you geeks) where born to fight, genetically we preserved/married hundred of women which are genetically weaker of strength (if not today, its because lesbos are invading us but hey)

But could that man bang his 300 chicks all the time?

NO, so what did they do... Well they had themselves a party, the man created more babies, and those women left a bit out, where suddenly not so shy about seeking a bit more than the "simpler" forms of company, this trait grew genetically stronger during the years during evolution, and there we go.

You dont have to listen to me you know, my advices are only for the hardcore, bad ass MEN with some sincere intentions, and awesome attitude... You might simply have the bible or some other "bright" biblical value up your ass.

Or take it out, and accept that you might be seen as an asshole by men, while your women will always be there to fulfill your every (other?) need? I dunno maybe you like men on the side or something, but I prefer watching a sportsgame with a couple of chicks, and just mine rather than a couple of ****, then I go play playstation 4 with my "waifu" (the one I am legally married with does not enjoy games, so her I go watch television and have deep meaningful conversations with)

The thing is, I cant convince you, this is either something you are born to do, or born to try to do and never get the chance to ending up a sad old virgin... Or simply the non genuine guy, getting a woman drunk and trying to **** her before what? She throws up all over you? Is that your bright light?

You can be darker, I would know, as I am Nero/Black.

The End?

Advice: She loves me for who I am for what I do, advice Numero dos: If you cannot be Nero, try going for the second best

 
 
 

Wow, Adrenal exhaustion due to overextansive sex... I lost to a woman dude (yeah you too eriksen you ****) doctor says I need to stay away from any strainous activities at least a while, and hard sex for at least six hours...

Six hours is nothing! I lost only the first round! Bahahahahahaha!

Remember those ridiculous hentays, no its typing it wrong dont type listen my waifu not my (wife) is quoting me as I am feverish and throwing up and anxious, anyways those animes where bunch of women would win (dunno I did not understand Japanese then, not even the subtitles) pay the rent forever smileyface draw a smileyface (sorry Harry no idea how to draw here)

My god, Harris, you know who is quoting me here, she is the fucking stupid one XD yes that is smileyface XD!

Anyway, I was defeated here, This "just" some woman, fucked me sick... I am laughing here, I dont care if nobody reads it, I feel sick as shit, and yet I am in heaven... Bakakakakaka... IM NO CHICKEN YOU IDIOT ITS H`S sorry babe, no you moron dont include your name, you are all my miserable pile of secrets kastlevania lol she is tryng as hard as she can to quote me here. Oh and I know you like her, she is red laughing with me here, Wakawakwakwaka yes you got packman right NOOOO mor big OOOS XD Its P A C M A N... XD Why the spaces? Okay, just having fun from this side now, since they are just terrible quotes and not my direct words






WITH HORRIBLE LACK OF SPACING I DID NOT SPACE THE HALF THIS, I AM JUST PISSING WAIFU OFF HERE OF IS WITH ONE F! XD XD YES EXDE NO THE SMILEY AGAIN XD


Anyway "Harris" Nero is being a bit too Metal here, "abusing himself a bit too much" as they say..

WHO SAYS THAT? YOU SOME PRINNY NANNY? Okay I will shut up, why are you quoting everything? Okay, post it, what you looking at me like that for? POst it? Its not too long! You are making it longer... AND HARDER! cOME ON NOW POST IT...

(My God, they do not call this guy Metal for nothing, I know its just Horsehead, but this dude is loco.

BITCH COME HERE I AM NOT LOCO I AM INSANO! CAPTAIN INSANO! "THIS DUDE? YOU KNOWN ME FOR OVER FIVE YEaRs YOU SLUT! STOP DARING ME, POST IT ALL AND STOP CAPPING MY LETTERS I CAN BARELY SPEAK *coughcough* (sound of slime) HEY STOP THAT! Okay her Name is Natalia was it Ember? WIFE NUMBER ONE MAKE HER POST HER REAL NAME SO PEOPLE K

(wife Number one here, Natalia Embers, yeah, people as Nero says, so nobody shall messeth with the goddeth of darkneseth and loveth"

YES I AM SURE THY SHALL POST IT! WHy remove caplock ffs, XD, now post it, I Nero Metal take full responsability jumå... No more spaces



There you go, I Nero "Metal" Lastnameredacted take full responsability for this ridiculously long comment (not my words I think its perfect length just like my ****) And if it crashes this piece of shit sitedotdotdot...yeah those babe.

THEN I SHALL BE KNOWN AS THE MAN THAT DESTROYED THE INTERWEBS WITH HENTAI AND SEXHAUSTION! IT SHALL BE LEGENDARY!

Seriously, post it, come on, ok we can change the name, its not the name it says, we were just toyi... Will you just post tht thing? No dont remove anything, post it, because I am Insane and insane means 2 wifes and about everyone else... Ok? Ok...










Final note: Thou Harris of nameth shall readeth all this a hundred and fifthy say thousand times, or car thy shall be redacted.

JAYKAY... No dumbass just kidding, no dont delete it, im having fun, allright allright sorrey I called you dumbass I was taking to "name" that is typing this not you, what you worried about, I am just tired... POST IT COME ON! NO I AM NOT ASHAMED I AM GOD GOD KNOWS NO SHAME SO POST IT, PS DARKGOD GOOD WORK "NOT SHARING MY NAME HERE" GOOD GIRL; NOW GET OVER HERE YOUR FRIEND NEARLY RAPED ME TO DEATH, YES POST IT I DARE YOU! YOU DO NOT DARE ME, THIS COMMENT TRIGGERS THE APOCALYPSE YOU WACKONutS THEN MAKE IT HAPPEN! MAKE ME THE usHERER OF THE END!

seriously will one of you please just agree to the terms and nuke the world with this comment? Fine ill do it mysself, HAH THE cOMPUTER IS AGAIN MINE! YOU MUST ALL READ THIS UNTIL YOUR EYEs BLEED BECAUSE THEsE ARE THE WORDS OF..

I dont know, just post it, please? Please do not make me kick your ass out of my room? Thank you very much, ASHAMED? ME ASHAMED OF TYPING THE COMMENT THAT WILL RUIN THE WOLRD? GIRL THY ARE NUTHS, AND YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO SPELL WORLD POST IT NOW! YEs I AM SURE!

 
 

Hey, wow you almost typing as much as Nero here, you almost an "Alpha Leader of men" now... But I am sixteen years younger than you (still old) And "Alpha man, leader of women right to my bed.

Gonna lie down here til i die probably, Ill be honest, never had to try viagra before, but man it works when I just want to sleep, so if I die, my wife or this (just friend of hers) can give you the 7 keys you will need to get the car (its a mess, guy like you could just break down the damn walls,but my uppercuts you gonna get DAD... Seriously, ill pay the bills, but I am just gonna go for hardcore bruises.

As for party or whatever, ill take some time off whenever i can, and send you a message uh... Ill put it in your "OMG SAMSUNG" which ill send trough... Some guy will show up with it, mafia (jk).

Between you and me... AND EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD! This uh, lady, is so fucking sex starved that I am starting to feel like I am just pity fucking her, I mean I am just lying here, but viagra? Thats for old people! And for... You know, big **** hanging over my face for... nearly seven hours? Man I am keeping this one, she has the stamina of a damn

Yep she is a uh those that work out, not gymnast, whatever im sleepy as hell, man... I am death destroyer of worlds, and if i die now, I die... Well I can do a little better, but you know top ten something...

Ok, seriously, REdhair, do not invite redhair, that asshole hits on my girls when he is drunk and it would be fine if my girls chose to skip over to him, but he is getting nasty.

Dibs on this one man, I mean I dont want stuff you have banged, we all know you dont got that luxury, man you are too shy...

Anyway, I am getting sick here, so I am gonna take a nap while this bitch moans to herself (forget I said bitch, its just that im tired and yeah wont even delete it) No replies, just get over here you know... Today because the lock system is complicated and I honestly dont know how to open the fucking garage doors, but old Tim knows, and he is here fixing my uh off brand Jacuzzi (bubblebath? The **** I know), and he can do it, but he leaves in... Hell ill convince him to stay, he is a cool dude.

If you cant come today though, tell me when you can and ill see what I can do... And seriously do not respond, for this viagra, man I had no idea how powerful it was and how close this is to killing me...

BUT MY BODY IS READY!

Okay, whiggs, all but redbeards, and that bald FØCKER that kept PRETENDING like he was drunk yeah, that asshole that kept touching my Wife and my WAIFU`s tights, thats sacrilege, his redemption is only death by stoning.

Got the list ready? Redbeard and that bald **** whose name I do not know, you know the one i... "accidentally" elbowed out the window?

Moral: Random message... THE ELBOW WAS NOT RANDOM... Now read and absorb, and meditate upon these wise teachings... For by followin my footsteps, you can **** forever with whoever and marry two women because MONEY + LAWYER + NOW I AM JUST BRAGGING BECAUSE "ERICSEN" IS READING THIS SHIT...

And of course, never invite Eriksen... (HELLO ERIKSEN! BE AS PISSED AS YOU WANT, BUT I AM STILL YOUR BIG BOSS/EMPLOYER.

Moral2: Horsehead can hate Moral man, Moral man dont even make fun of them being Jelly anymore, Nero the Moral man has ascended beyond humanity...

Moral 3: Eriksen, you know that if you end me another threat like that again, the firm rules/LAWS OF NERO, requires that I fire you... I mean Sorry man, I did not make the rules...


I JUST MADE THEM! Oh Harris, you get it if you stay the **** away from my ascended supersayan feet, I recall something about you kissing them for a car, lol get your **** outta here, oh, and bring the partystuff, I just got... Sigh part of me wants to be subtle...

GANGBANGING EQUIPMENT!!!!!!!!! And Thats just not apropiate for a party, lets plan this when you get your samsung (OMG) tomorrow or whenever.

THE END, DO NOT SPEAK TO THE DARKEST LORD AGAINETH, HE IS TIRED AND ENJOYS BEING RAPED BY MARRIED BITCH WHoSE HUSBAND... Probably dont even have a swagger... This is abuse now, bitch dont even drink water... just typing shit now, and they call me Brutal (Metal you know) woha... Ask that dude timmy or what his name is again to let you in, me? I am ready to get fucked to death... Remember, if I die, I will return in three days, take with me the four musketeers or whatever, and defeat... Chuck Norris, yeah...

THE END! (APPLAUSE!) Whiggs, you are depraved, if this bitch fucking a corpse (**** I said bitch again) when you arrive, prevent the necrolepsy or whatever the name was, and you keep fucking her... You aint got the powah, but at least you be alive.

 
 
 
 

Hey whigs just thinking, you think these will get approved as "anti-pickuplines?" XD

Anyway, relax dog, the car is yours, and yes its a custom engine I trimmed myself, never drove it but its like a fucking hummingbird, just be careful dawg, it drives far faster than the damn spedometer or whatever its called says, so if it says 30 whatevers, you are driving at double (ill fix that for you, was gonna do it anyways but I am at work now)

Man, I increased productivity with 33 percent with my speeches and campaigns, if that bonus isnt legal then im quitting AFTER I DECREASE productivity with 120... By quitting... basically.

Get a cab dude, dont turn into some spoiled asskissing piece of shit that hangs around for the money (not more than you already do, jk bro) and ill throw in the fucking bill for the cabfare, but you know the trust system whiggs, receipts always.

Oh, and yeah anyone asks, you leased it, and just for the Nero says comment, I was watching that shit How I raped your mother with my wife, and I get to give you five slaps! At random times, as hard as I can..

...You know I got small hands, and your sister knows that small hands just means the paperwork kind, while big other stuff, means fucked since I was nice.

Yeah its at the summer vista whatever, playboy mansion my ass... Its actually a bit larger (a lot less uh the area around tho, listen man, im done doing my... well girls, so im gonna get some sleep soon, so if you got more to say, make it fast...

Moral: You know I have always been EVERYONES GOD MINION, DARK FALLEN GOD OF CHAOS AND... Sex, money, yeah...


REMEMBER: Push the pedal on that Fiat of yours, and you will end up wrecking the car on the paper thin walls on my garage, so watch the speed limit, if you end up killng yourself, Ill never forgive myse... Wait... ILL NEVER FORGIVE YOUR MOTHER AND BANG HER...

Because... Ahh... You know, girls wont get off me, now hurry the hell up and just say you are coming over or not, because I need an excuse to get... Wait for it... Wait for it...

NOT YOUR SISTER OF ME! But hey, im honest to your sister, this man gots love for all the girls in his life, or he dont deserve them.

Answer asap, or im wrecking the car, seriously, answer quick and its yours... On the phone is fine.

 
 

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