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Anti-Pickup Line

 
 

Wow, Adrenal exhaustion due to overextansive sex... I lost to a woman dude (yeah you too eriksen you ****) doctor says I need to stay away from any strainous activities at least a while, and hard sex for at least six hours...

Six hours is nothing! I lost only the first round! Bahahahahahaha!

Remember those ridiculous hentays, no its typing it wrong dont type listen my waifu not my (wife) is quoting me as I am feverish and throwing up and anxious, anyways those animes where bunch of women would win (dunno I did not understand Japanese then, not even the subtitles) pay the rent forever smileyface draw a smileyface (sorry Harry no idea how to draw here)

My god, Harris, you know who is quoting me here, she is the fucking stupid one XD yes that is smileyface XD!

Anyway, I was defeated here, This "just" some woman, fucked me sick... I am laughing here, I dont care if nobody reads it, I feel sick as shit, and yet I am in heaven... Bakakakakaka... IM NO CHICKEN YOU IDIOT ITS H`S sorry babe, no you moron dont include your name, you are all my miserable pile of secrets kastlevania lol she is tryng as hard as she can to quote me here. Oh and I know you like her, she is red laughing with me here, Wakawakwakwaka yes you got packman right NOOOO mor big OOOS XD Its P A C M A N... XD Why the spaces? Okay, just having fun from this side now, since they are just terrible quotes and not my direct words






WITH HORRIBLE LACK OF SPACING I DID NOT SPACE THE HALF THIS, I AM JUST PISSING WAIFU OFF HERE OF IS WITH ONE F! XD XD YES EXDE NO THE SMILEY AGAIN XD


Anyway "Harris" Nero is being a bit too Metal here, "abusing himself a bit too much" as they say..

WHO SAYS THAT? YOU SOME PRINNY NANNY? Okay I will shut up, why are you quoting everything? Okay, post it, what you looking at me like that for? POst it? Its not too long! You are making it longer... AND HARDER! cOME ON NOW POST IT...

(My God, they do not call this guy Metal for nothing, I know its just Horsehead, but this dude is loco.

BITCH COME HERE I AM NOT LOCO I AM INSANO! CAPTAIN INSANO! "THIS DUDE? YOU KNOWN ME FOR OVER FIVE YEaRs YOU SLUT! STOP DARING ME, POST IT ALL AND STOP CAPPING MY LETTERS I CAN BARELY SPEAK *coughcough* (sound of slime) HEY STOP THAT! Okay her Name is Natalia was it Ember? WIFE NUMBER ONE MAKE HER POST HER REAL NAME SO PEOPLE K

(wife Number one here, Natalia Embers, yeah, people as Nero says, so nobody shall messeth with the goddeth of darkneseth and loveth"

YES I AM SURE THY SHALL POST IT! WHy remove caplock ffs, XD, now post it, I Nero Metal take full responsability jumå... No more spaces



There you go, I Nero "Metal" Lastnameredacted take full responsability for this ridiculously long comment (not my words I think its perfect length just like my ****) And if it crashes this piece of shit sitedotdotdot...yeah those babe.

THEN I SHALL BE KNOWN AS THE MAN THAT DESTROYED THE INTERWEBS WITH HENTAI AND SEXHAUSTION! IT SHALL BE LEGENDARY!

Seriously, post it, come on, ok we can change the name, its not the name it says, we were just toyi... Will you just post tht thing? No dont remove anything, post it, because I am Insane and insane means 2 wifes and about everyone else... Ok? Ok...










Final note: Thou Harris of nameth shall readeth all this a hundred and fifthy say thousand times, or car thy shall be redacted.

JAYKAY... No dumbass just kidding, no dont delete it, im having fun, allright allright sorrey I called you dumbass I was taking to "name" that is typing this not you, what you worried about, I am just tired... POST IT COME ON! NO I AM NOT ASHAMED I AM GOD GOD KNOWS NO SHAME SO POST IT, PS DARKGOD GOOD WORK "NOT SHARING MY NAME HERE" GOOD GIRL; NOW GET OVER HERE YOUR FRIEND NEARLY RAPED ME TO DEATH, YES POST IT I DARE YOU! YOU DO NOT DARE ME, THIS COMMENT TRIGGERS THE APOCALYPSE YOU WACKONutS THEN MAKE IT HAPPEN! MAKE ME THE usHERER OF THE END!

seriously will one of you please just agree to the terms and nuke the world with this comment? Fine ill do it mysself, HAH THE cOMPUTER IS AGAIN MINE! YOU MUST ALL READ THIS UNTIL YOUR EYEs BLEED BECAUSE THEsE ARE THE WORDS OF..

I dont know, just post it, please? Please do not make me kick your ass out of my room? Thank you very much, ASHAMED? ME ASHAMED OF TYPING THE COMMENT THAT WILL RUIN THE WOLRD? GIRL THY ARE NUTHS, AND YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO SPELL WORLD POST IT NOW! YEs I AM SURE!

 
 

Hey, wow you almost typing as much as Nero here, you almost an "Alpha Leader of men" now... But I am sixteen years younger than you (still old) And "Alpha man, leader of women right to my bed.

Gonna lie down here til i die probably, Ill be honest, never had to try viagra before, but man it works when I just want to sleep, so if I die, my wife or this (just friend of hers) can give you the 7 keys you will need to get the car (its a mess, guy like you could just break down the damn walls,but my uppercuts you gonna get DAD... Seriously, ill pay the bills, but I am just gonna go for hardcore bruises.

As for party or whatever, ill take some time off whenever i can, and send you a message uh... Ill put it in your "OMG SAMSUNG" which ill send trough... Some guy will show up with it, mafia (jk).

Between you and me... AND EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD! This uh, lady, is so fucking sex starved that I am starting to feel like I am just pity fucking her, I mean I am just lying here, but viagra? Thats for old people! And for... You know, big **** hanging over my face for... nearly seven hours? Man I am keeping this one, she has the stamina of a damn

Yep she is a uh those that work out, not gymnast, whatever im sleepy as hell, man... I am death destroyer of worlds, and if i die now, I die... Well I can do a little better, but you know top ten something...

Ok, seriously, REdhair, do not invite redhair, that asshole hits on my girls when he is drunk and it would be fine if my girls chose to skip over to him, but he is getting nasty.

Dibs on this one man, I mean I dont want stuff you have banged, we all know you dont got that luxury, man you are too shy...

Anyway, I am getting sick here, so I am gonna take a nap while this bitch moans to herself (forget I said bitch, its just that im tired and yeah wont even delete it) No replies, just get over here you know... Today because the lock system is complicated and I honestly dont know how to open the fucking garage doors, but old Tim knows, and he is here fixing my uh off brand Jacuzzi (bubblebath? The **** I know), and he can do it, but he leaves in... Hell ill convince him to stay, he is a cool dude.

If you cant come today though, tell me when you can and ill see what I can do... And seriously do not respond, for this viagra, man I had no idea how powerful it was and how close this is to killing me...

BUT MY BODY IS READY!

Okay, whiggs, all but redbeards, and that bald FØCKER that kept PRETENDING like he was drunk yeah, that asshole that kept touching my Wife and my WAIFU`s tights, thats sacrilege, his redemption is only death by stoning.

Got the list ready? Redbeard and that bald **** whose name I do not know, you know the one i... "accidentally" elbowed out the window?

Moral: Random message... THE ELBOW WAS NOT RANDOM... Now read and absorb, and meditate upon these wise teachings... For by followin my footsteps, you can **** forever with whoever and marry two women because MONEY + LAWYER + NOW I AM JUST BRAGGING BECAUSE "ERICSEN" IS READING THIS SHIT...

And of course, never invite Eriksen... (HELLO ERIKSEN! BE AS PISSED AS YOU WANT, BUT I AM STILL YOUR BIG BOSS/EMPLOYER.

Moral2: Horsehead can hate Moral man, Moral man dont even make fun of them being Jelly anymore, Nero the Moral man has ascended beyond humanity...

Moral 3: Eriksen, you know that if you end me another threat like that again, the firm rules/LAWS OF NERO, requires that I fire you... I mean Sorry man, I did not make the rules...


I JUST MADE THEM! Oh Harris, you get it if you stay the **** away from my ascended supersayan feet, I recall something about you kissing them for a car, lol get your **** outta here, oh, and bring the partystuff, I just got... Sigh part of me wants to be subtle...

GANGBANGING EQUIPMENT!!!!!!!!! And Thats just not apropiate for a party, lets plan this when you get your samsung (OMG) tomorrow or whenever.

THE END, DO NOT SPEAK TO THE DARKEST LORD AGAINETH, HE IS TIRED AND ENJOYS BEING RAPED BY MARRIED BITCH WHoSE HUSBAND... Probably dont even have a swagger... This is abuse now, bitch dont even drink water... just typing shit now, and they call me Brutal (Metal you know) woha... Ask that dude timmy or what his name is again to let you in, me? I am ready to get fucked to death... Remember, if I die, I will return in three days, take with me the four musketeers or whatever, and defeat... Chuck Norris, yeah...

THE END! (APPLAUSE!) Whiggs, you are depraved, if this bitch fucking a corpse (**** I said bitch again) when you arrive, prevent the necrolepsy or whatever the name was, and you keep fucking her... You aint got the powah, but at least you be alive.

 
 
 
 

Hey whigs just thinking, you think these will get approved as "anti-pickuplines?" XD

Anyway, relax dog, the car is yours, and yes its a custom engine I trimmed myself, never drove it but its like a fucking hummingbird, just be careful dawg, it drives far faster than the damn spedometer or whatever its called says, so if it says 30 whatevers, you are driving at double (ill fix that for you, was gonna do it anyways but I am at work now)

Man, I increased productivity with 33 percent with my speeches and campaigns, if that bonus isnt legal then im quitting AFTER I DECREASE productivity with 120... By quitting... basically.

Get a cab dude, dont turn into some spoiled asskissing piece of shit that hangs around for the money (not more than you already do, jk bro) and ill throw in the fucking bill for the cabfare, but you know the trust system whiggs, receipts always.

Oh, and yeah anyone asks, you leased it, and just for the Nero says comment, I was watching that shit How I raped your mother with my wife, and I get to give you five slaps! At random times, as hard as I can..

...You know I got small hands, and your sister knows that small hands just means the paperwork kind, while big other stuff, means fucked since I was nice.

Yeah its at the summer vista whatever, playboy mansion my ass... Its actually a bit larger (a lot less uh the area around tho, listen man, im done doing my... well girls, so im gonna get some sleep soon, so if you got more to say, make it fast...

Moral: You know I have always been EVERYONES GOD MINION, DARK FALLEN GOD OF CHAOS AND... Sex, money, yeah...


REMEMBER: Push the pedal on that Fiat of yours, and you will end up wrecking the car on the paper thin walls on my garage, so watch the speed limit, if you end up killng yourself, Ill never forgive myse... Wait... ILL NEVER FORGIVE YOUR MOTHER AND BANG HER...

Because... Ahh... You know, girls wont get off me, now hurry the hell up and just say you are coming over or not, because I need an excuse to get... Wait for it... Wait for it...

NOT YOUR SISTER OF ME! But hey, im honest to your sister, this man gots love for all the girls in his life, or he dont deserve them.

Answer asap, or im wrecking the car, seriously, answer quick and its yours... On the phone is fine.

 
 

"OMG A SAMSUNG!" Lol, thats cool man, as for the car, the engine is shiny and flawless, (you know for a fiat) and I have not used it since I you know "bought it" as in won it from my ex while playing poker? Id give it back to her if she was not such a bitch.

Honestly dude, its a fiat, and that piece of shit you call a car, I mean man, we have been towed from the free way like six times already? XD And that is just the few times I want to sit in that piece of shit XD

I mean the seats pop off and there is "custom space to transport marijuana there man XD" I seriously hope you bought it that way, because stoners aint my friends.

Seriously dude, the Fiat (aka "car") is yours, you know that you are bankrupt because you keep trying to fix that piece of shit on wheels of yours XD, and hey, surprise kiddo, I renewed the engine, so its new and shiny, and free, and **** if not only the engine itself is worth ten more times than... A billion of those pieces of shit you drive XD

No seriously, you know me, Im The Hannibal, I am the beast but I like it classy, and its pretty embarrassing sitting on that piece of shit you call for a car. I know we are from different worlds pal, but take it, just gave myself a bonus at work (legal of course) but I got to say it... "A SAMSUNG OMG" XD

And yeah, I know you been eyeballing that "car" aka Fiat, its yours whenever you want it, just tell people I am leasing it to you (I mean it I really do, thats my only condition)

Moral: "I DRIVE PIECES OF SHIT FOR BREAKFAST!"

PROTIP FOR GETTING ANYWHERE IN YOUR CAR: Put it The opposite way, and have the towing car tow you TOWARDS the place you want to get to XD

(hey, how many times you been towed JUST from the freeway? I mean I hate hunting, but do you really use that shit in the Forrest too? Answer here, be real, and come get your car.

 
 

Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD?

Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires.

Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car.

Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden.

Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is.

AMEN? Jk, **** Amen.

Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though)

And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

 

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