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Anti-Pickup Line

 

Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more...

Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU!


Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by"

So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story...

Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise.

(unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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My real name is Axel The Red by the way, yeah my parents where (and kinda still) huge fans of Guns and Roses (ironically they now hate Axl Rose as everyone else).

Axel The Red: I mean I wont reveal where I live but how fucking many people have "Red" as a last name and "The" as a middle name? That is ridiculously easy to find!

And its weird, especially when people look at my passport (I constantly travel, part of my job) and look in disbelief...

Moral: Look me up Jehova`s witnesses, I dare you... after you read the comment below.. I know its long, but you wanna save my soul from uh... what is a soul anyway? If I lose my sole I just buy myself new shoes!

,

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Man knocks on random/every trucking door.


Man: Do you know Jesus?

Girl: Uh yeah somewhat... wharever...

Man: Want to become a Jehova`s witness and learn more about the savior?

Girl: The saviour huh? Ok... "enlists" online or SOMETHING...

Man: Damn another woman I cant just bang, because it would be a sin... I gotta stop this pretending to be a Jehova`s witness thing, wait... I am one! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Girl: What you whispering? NOOOOOOOO!

Moral: Just dont open the fucking door, or do like me:

Women: Do you know Jesus the savior?

Me: Uh... does he live downstairs or something?

Women: (cant help to start skipping from the joy) NO! HE RULES IN HEAVEN AND IS ETERNAL!!! :D :D :D

Me: Sure, come in! Lets talk!

(as they speak I start drawing pentagrams, put on a upside down crosses, start looking at them with an evil glee, etc etc, and when they start looking nervous and biting nails (they do you know) I at random yell SATAN I CALL UPON THEE!!! And open my firsts which I beforehand put a bit of something called... uh I call it "oilsand" that self ignites when exposed to oxygen, and then rise my hands upwards as they flee in terror...

Then they send a hot chick from my country (I am a foreigner most places I go) to start telling me she also suffered until she "met" the lord... (I guess I have no idea what suffering is, since I am fine and have not met the lord... ironically) at that point I pretend to cry (tears included) and hug her tightly and whisper in her ear that I will join if I can bang her because my "lack" of sex is my suffer.

Of course that will... mostly not get you ANYTHING, but they wont return ever again...

Why I do it? Try it out yourself, its funny as hell!!

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail.

Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal.

Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Sorry to take up space, but this is simply my reply to the vile threats to that person whose line starts with "what did you say little bitch", know that he has no idea what he is talking about, and is possibly a simple mental case.

Seriously, who the hell are you? And even so, who the hell do you think you are?

Yeah with your terrible lack of discipline there is no way in hell you are or would become a soldier.

You know very well that the navy would never waste its resources on helping your selfish and childish acts of revenge (or whatever you seek)

Death threats will get you nowhere, and you can fully threaten me, but know that I live in Norway, and you can trace me and send your whole unit (if you had one) but by then you would solely be responsible for acts of war and be properly executed for international treason.

Know your place civilian, we fight to protect you, do not shame us with your childish vendetta.

Drill Sergeant
Axel "Strength" Godøy. Aka "Moral Man"

Ps: Threaten anyone again, and I will fill a full report and assure that your IP is banned from this network, you are shaming your people, your country and all that fight to defend world peace, try me out and see, give me that luxury.

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp!

Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;)

Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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The adventures of your favorite pimps pimp:

Woman: I want flowers!

P: Flower power is bad girl, go for dirt power or pot or something...

Woman: Ok, then I want a pot with dirt and some seeds...

P: WOMAN! Pot aint healthy for you! Go for the power of nothingness or something!

Woman: **** YOU!

P: See! There we got something right, come here here baby lets do it!

Moral: This one was so boring it needs a pity thumbs up, just one though, from each of you, Im not greedy...d

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Captain Commando enters a bar:

Cap: Hey girl, want a chance to get a ride on the Captain himself?

Woman: You do not look like Captain America!

Cap: No no... I am Captain Commando, you know the Capcom superhero that defeated Scummocide and..

Woman: Who is Capcom?

Cap: **** YOU MEGAMAAAAAAAAN!

Later on: "Transmission"

Cap: President of the US, once again I have defeated Scummocide and saved the world from his earth shattering laser.

president: Who is Scummocide? And who are you?

Cap: CAPTAIN COMMANDO DAMN YOU NEVER GET IT!

President: Someone get Megaman X or something?

Moral: Nobody cares anymore lol.

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE!

Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later?

Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and...

Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja..

Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Super man and Lois lane doing it...

Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and...

Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed...

Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid...

(a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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