Want to go out? No

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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sound of zipper

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!