Want to go out? No

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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sound of zipper

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!