"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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You look exactly like my sister.

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Golf.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!