"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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You look exactly like my sister.

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Golf.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!