- Anti-Pickup Line

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

Male: Get in the van.

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

He:walks over She: What is it now? He:Unzips fly. She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! shows me boobs Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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