- Anti-Pickup Line

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

Male: Get in the van.

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

He:walks over She: What is it now? He:Unzips fly. She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! shows me boobs Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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