What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!