- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

Stop Footing Around

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

Happy BirthdaySean!

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book