Stop Footing Around

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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sound of zipper

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!