Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Want to go out? No

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!