Dont let this rape turn into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

rohypnol. rape drug

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

thumb_up thumb_down -84

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

thumb_up thumb_down -137

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Yeah... you'll have to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

nice kid... want another?

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!