Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

nice kid... want another?

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

- Did it hurt? - Yes.

The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

Gaywatch starts

Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

How much do you like peanut butter?

Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!