I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Gaywatch starts

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!