why are you you touching me ????

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Gaywatch starts

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!