Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!