- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Stop Footing Around

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Gaywatch starts

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!