I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

- You look really nice - I know

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

Lesbihonest

greetings clarisse...

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!