Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

- You look really nice - I know

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Lesbihonest

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Yeah... you'll have to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I've got a black belt in lovin'.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I have a really big..... Bank Account

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I'd hit that.... with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!