Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

-I love you.

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

Hey can I have your number? No.

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!