Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Are your prices by the hour

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Soon

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!