Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +128

Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

thumb_up thumb_down +181

Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Are your prices by the hour

thumb_up thumb_down -10

all in all it was a good orgy

thumb_up thumb_down +196

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

thumb_up thumb_down -152

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

thumb_up thumb_down +215

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

thumb_up thumb_down +51

I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

thumb_up thumb_down -89

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

thumb_up thumb_down +123

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!