Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Are your prices by the hour

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Penis. I got it

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!