GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

thumb_up thumb_down +167

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

thumb_up thumb_down -88

nice kid... want another?

thumb_up thumb_down +97

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

jack sanders

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!