-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Do you want to see something swell?

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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imgonna r@pe you

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!