How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

Business Y U No Advertise?

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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