Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

Business Y U No Advertise?

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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