- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

Do you want to see something swell?

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book