Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!