Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

thumb_up thumb_down +159

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

thumb_up thumb_down +101

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +75

adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

thumb_up thumb_down -103

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

thumb_up thumb_down +92

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

thumb_up thumb_down +85

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

thumb_up thumb_down +79

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!