If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

thumb_up thumb_down -68

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

thumb_up thumb_down -104

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down +43

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

thumb_up thumb_down +91

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

thumb_up thumb_down -2

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!