if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!