How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

thumb_up thumb_down -121

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

thumb_up thumb_down +94

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

thumb_up thumb_down +44

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down -72

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!