Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

Sugar-free sugar cookies

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

You smell just like my mom...

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!