M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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adam burdass

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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