M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!