Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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At Barlevania: Man: Yo lady... mind if I hang around? Woman: Uh... wait... there is a weird song outside... Man: Yeah but you will you... yeah... its getting louder! *nana nanananana nana* Man: What the hell is that? Woman: No idea, its getting louder! *NANA NANANANANANA KATAMARI DAMACY NANA NANANANANANANA KATAMERUUUUU! DAMACY DAMACY*¨¨ *Both the man and the woman gets rolled up in a spirit ball by the prince, in no time the bar gets rolled up as well* Dun dun dun dun dun dun Du du dun dun STAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAR LIGHT! King of all cosmos: Eh.. buenos dias! That means good day in Spanish the king thinks... the king likes languages... Eh? What is this insignificant thing you rolled up? Earth? The king does not like it... it feels too earthy! To humanny and stuff... *The king of all cosmos throws the earth away towards outer space* "ROLLED UP EARTH HAS BECOME PLANET EARTH!" Moral: Katamari Damacy taught us all that it does not have to make sense to be funny, but its not a good idea to for anyone to hit on anything while the planet is being rolled up...

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!