-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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