does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!