A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

thumb_up thumb_down -73

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

thumb_up thumb_down -158

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

thumb_up thumb_down +83

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So, you're a girl, huh?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hello children! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -37

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!