- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Hello children! :D

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!