Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

thumb_up thumb_down +10

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

thumb_up thumb_down -132

So, you're a girl, huh?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

thumb_up thumb_down -71

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!