It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

Are you from Wales, because...well...

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!