As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!