- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

Hello children! :D

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

I'm desperate, you'll do.

Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book