- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

Whatever I'll just date myself.

I'm desperate, you'll do.

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book