-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!