"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Macho Man: Release the BOGUS! Woman: What? Super Macho Man: Never mind... no one will get this anyways... wanna go to McDonalds and get a Little Mac? Woman: Ok but I want a Big mac! Macho Man: What is a Big mac? Is it stronger than a little Mac? Woman: Huh? What do you mean? Macho Man: Sigh... and I actually fought Mike Tyson you know... Woman: So you are a boxer huh? Who are you gonna fight next? Macho Man: Sigh... Mr.Dream... Woman: Who the hell is that? Macho Man: a nobody...

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!