Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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