- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? looks down pants Meh!

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

you look like my mother

-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

I just killed my wife. What should I do?

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... door slams

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!