-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!