-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

free candy....

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!