I'll punch ya!

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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