A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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