Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!