- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... yawn Zzzzzzzmooth...

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book