He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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jack sanders

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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haha

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!