-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

Lol, again I am on a adrenaline... well let me be subtle... GANGBANGING WITH ANAL, PUSSY, TWO GIRLS FIGHTING OVER ONE COCK (Ladies there is enough down there to share)... ...Anyway, it reminds me of when I was 21, and I was like "You know what? Threesomes and that kinda stuff is nice and all, but I am a grown up now and... ...TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs Today I am 32, Married, (Hey my wife is into stuff, so its not cheating if she is the one enjoying while I videotape sometimes okay? (Never on cam, you crazy? You cant sell that shit! Okay I am kidding, the collection is personal) Ps: Seriously girls, one thing is that you smear yourself with my cumshots okay? But Hugging me afterwards? DATS SICK! (Name is Nero, I am not black, I am Hispanic, Latino Sexy... Well, actually when I take a look in the mirror I go, "meh well some guys got the looks"... ...I wont lie though, either my looks dont matter shite, or girls really like it...

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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