-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

I take the the out of psychotherapist

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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