You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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