- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 lies

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

Man: Dayuuuum slaps ass Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book