Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!