The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!