If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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