- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

is your name angel cuz that's all i see? is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book