Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Business Y U No Advertise?

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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